On a typical day, I am working on 3 or 4 'projects' around my house. My ADHD gives me the patience of a gnat, so I tend to drift off into other things before finishing what I started. The end result of that is overflowing other areas of my house, wreaking havoc in it's disruptive path, and a whole bunch of cool shit for the cats to play with, pee on, and break, all at 4 am of course. To top it off, I seem to enjoy inviting people over smack dab in the middle of all the chaos. So I often find myself needing to shuffle the aforementioned detritus where ever I find space. The project 'put crap under the stairs' round went something like this:
Sonja decides to completely empty the two downstairs rooms by taking everything out and dumping it into the family room. End result: crowding out any possible space for life to exist. Sonja also decides that it's a perfect time to invite a ton of people over for a celebration! Half my house is covered in bullshit, nonsense, trinkets, boxes, cobwebs, crazed cats with new found toys, and various other weird stuff, why not have a party? Shit.
The beautiful storage under the stairs was the easiest solution to my mess problem. Dammit. Whatever I couldn't shuffle back into the appropriate spot was surreptitiously and precariously stacked, making one hell of a booby trap for the sucker that opens the door next. I'm fairly certain no cats were boxed up and put under the stairs.
Unfortunately, my daughter LOVES Halloween, so doing nothing wasn't an option either. We settled on purchasing one decoration from the dollar store. A plastic skeleton. We could hang it on our front door, and be done with it. Simple, fast, and no risk of attack from zombie cats trapped under the stairs.
When we got home and took the skeleton out of the package, we realized we were far from being done with decorating. Two things were abundantly clear when we laid eyes on our fully extended, $1 skeleton: 1. It was a boy, and 2. He is fabulously gay. I know. I sound like a lunatic. But I kid you not, this skeleton is both of those things. Take a look:
As my daughter and I agreed on both of those things, we wanted to embrace his fabulousness, and help him scream it to the world "I'm gay and I'm proud!" So we did what any good friends would do... we gave him our support, told him we loved him for who he is, and dressed him to the nines! But what to do? It was at this moment my darling husband chimed in. All he said while passing by was "He needs an ascot." That was all the motivation I needed.
For the next hour and a half, my daughter and I set out to properly outfit Al, aka Dead Gay Al, since it was Halloween and all. He was given rosy cheeks, a mani/pedi, fake eyelashes, a gold tooth, a pink polka-dot ascot, and a fabulous blue and purple vest. Al's makeover was complete! See what you think:
With something so fabulous decorating my door, I really couldn't be too upset about 'not decorating' for Halloween this year. All it took was looking at things from a slightly different perspective, and one little comment to create this masterpiece. Dead Gay Al is a part of the family now. He will be outfitted for the upcoming holidays, and on display for all to see. Some people hang wreaths, some hang lights, we'll hang Dead Gay Al dressed to impress. Hey, if Santa and Mrs. Claus can deck their halls like Christmas, and hand out candy canes on Halloween, why not adorn our home with a festive skeleton? Seriously, Santa and Mrs. Claus handed out candy canes on Halloween! See for yourself (I blurred the kids faces, don't worry, they have heads in real life)
* Please know that my family and I are huge supporters of the LGBT community, and do not wish to offend anyone with this post. If I have, please message me, and accept my sincere apologies.
